Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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