Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
