Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize