remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
