I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
