id be glad to
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
