Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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