How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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