Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
