I'm gonna have a badass scar
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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