just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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