it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
