Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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