ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
