Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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