I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
