Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(806): View more from Texas

Jesus knows you're telling a lie.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup

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(313): View more from Michigan

Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.

Fav 14 1023 3457
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(585): View more from New York

remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.

Fav 16 6966 1201
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.

Fav 10 5496 1625
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(901): View more from Tennessee

There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.

Fav 10 2727 1083
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(718): View more from New York

If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go

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(330): View more from Ohio

I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Only if I get to be Gritty

(1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't worry about it.

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