they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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