she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
