I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
