so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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