You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
love makes seman taste better
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
