I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
