Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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