She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
