gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
