I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
