...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
