do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
