You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
