Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
