Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize