I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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