how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
