Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
