Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
