We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
