If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There r osticjed everywhere
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
