I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
