I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
