You're my little dorito
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
