I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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