The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
