Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
