Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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