Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Are we still banned from the library?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
