so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
