Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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