are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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