never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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