she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
