Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
