i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
