its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
