fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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