I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
