I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
