I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize