with your own penis?
plz talk dirty to me
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
