either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
