Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
