are you still at the devil's house?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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