i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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