you're like a bully in the Christmas story
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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