Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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