Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize