im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
