Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
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