i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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